Perfection. Does it exist? Heck no. But the majority of us mamas strive for it.
Realistically, it doesn’t exist because everyone’s perception of “perfection” is different.
Being a true to the core Virgo mama, achieving perfection with absolutely everything in my life is something I struggled to let go of but worked really, really hard to recognize when perfection wasn’t necessary.
My idea of perfection while being a Mama set me up for disappointment because of the unrealistic expectations I set out. That’s where learning to let go came into play.
When I talk about letting go, I am talking about allowing my kids to pour the batter into the muffin pans and not have a freakout when the batter is everywhere and not precisely in each section. Letting go of rearranging the clothing in the kids dressers after they put their clothes away – every time. Recognizing that it isn’t a big deal if the kids have a damn hot dog or sausage at a birthday party – it won’t kill them. But it’s also about letting go and allowing myself to be human and show vulnerability when it comes down to being a Mama and how I choose to parent. Nobody and nothing is perfect – except for our bookshelf, which is organized by color because I think it’s perfect that way.
When it comes to perfection and being a mama, we tend to compare ourselves to others A LOT.
I am guilty of it and I believe we all do it. We size ourselves up against other mamas. Whether it’s their parenting style, what they feed their kids, how they manage to have well groomed and well mannered kids, how put together they look at a damn playdate, how they manage to hold down a full time career and make a home cooked meal every night of the week, we tend to stack ourselves up against other mamas far too often. By doing so, we start to question everything about ourselves from our accomplishments, to appearance, even our personality traits.
Here’s the thing though, we have to stop. Stop comparing ourselves to others. There is no version of a perfect Mama out there, even if she may look like one but social media plays a huge role in why we are always comparing ourselves to other Mamas. Majority of social media pages showcase the best aspects of one’s life. “Picture perfect is insta-worthy” but reality is what is lost on social media. It’s like the idea of achieving perfection, it’s unrealistic and you are setting yourself up for failure.
Five ways to minimize the comparisons:
Be grateful – Make a gratitude list. Write it down in your journal, your to-do list, or put daily reminders on your phone about what you are grateful for. It helps to write it down or say it out loud daily.
Stay Present – Live in the moment and enjoy where you are today. By doing so, it will not only help improve your mindset, but your relationships and how you choose to go about doing things. You’ll be less likely to make comparisons.
Change your Perspective – Understand that perfection does not exist. Balancing it all is impossible and every other Mama is in the same boat one way or another. Recognize that everyone’s journey is different and stop focussing on things you have no control over.
Do more of what you love – Make a commitment to do more things that you love whether it’s scheduling a monthly brunch date or girls night out to simply attending that pilates class. Make time for things that make you feel good and increase your self value.
Pay yourself a compliment – Give yourself credit. Nobody is perfect and you are doing the best you can. It helps to write down your accomplishments and what you want to achieve. Make goals, big and small. When you reach them, check them off and either pat yourself on the back or treat yourself to that donut.
Motherhood is not a competition. Nobody needs to one-up each other. All of us Mamas just need to embrace one another and stand in solidarity.