Remembering Baby Quinn: 10 Years After Stillbirth & A Mother’s Grief Journey

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Remembering Baby Quinn: 10 Years Later

 

Ten years ago today, I walked into the hospital knowing I would be delivering a baby I would never bring home.

No mother should ever have to endure that kind of heartbreak. Every step toward the delivery room felt surreal… heavy with grief, shock, and love. I knew I was carrying life, but I also knew that the cries I was waiting to hear would never come. That I would leave the hospital with empty arms.

When Quinn arrived, we held her. We snuggled her. We counted her perfect little fingers and toes. We cherished every second we were given to look at her sweet face. Even though her heart had already stopped beating, mine was still full of love for her. She was — and always will be — our daughter.

Leaving the hospital without her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The wheelchair, the hallways, the doors that mothers walk through with full arms, full hearts… and I had to walk them with nothing but a memory and a shattered heart.

It wasn’t just my loss,  my husband lost his daughter too, and a big brother lost his baby sister. We may have carried our grief differently, but we carried it together.

And I wasn’t completely alone when we stood to leave.

As we prepared to walk out of the hospital, unsure how to take that first step, my two-year-old son reached up beside me. His tiny, warm hand found mine and he led me out of the hospital. He gave me the strength to move when I felt like I couldn’t. That small gesture reminded me that even in loss, there was still love. Even in grief, there was still life surrounding us.

Today marks ten years without sweet baby Quinn. Ten years of remembering, aching, loving, and honoring her place in our family.

Grief doesn’t shrink, but we learn to grow around it. We learn to carry it. And we learn that the love we hold for our children, even the ones we couldn’t bring home, becomes part of who we are forever.

So today, I’m remembering Quinn… her tiny hands, her perfect features, and all the love she brought into the world in such a short time. And I’m holding space for every parent who has had to say hello and goodbye in the same moment. You are not alone. Your baby is not forgotten. 💗

💗 Baby Loss Support in Edmonton & Area

 

1. ParentCare Society of Edmonton

Peer-based support for miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, and infant loss (up to 28 days).

2. AHS Pregnancy & Infant Loss Program (Edmonton Zone)

Free emotional and grief support through Alberta Health Services after pregnancy or infant loss.

3. H.E.A.R.T.S. Baby Loss Support Program (Alberta-wide)

Helping Empty Arms Recover Through Sharing — supports families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, or infertility.

4. Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Centre (PILSC)

Based in Calgary but offers provincial-wide virtual support for pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infertility, and early infant loss.

5. Tiny Footprints Society (Edmonton)

Offers remembrance events, community support, and awareness for families experiencing pregnancy or infant loss.

6. Compassionate Friends Edmonton

Grief support groups for families after the death of a child of any age (including infant loss).

7. Heartstrings – St. Albert & Area

Pregnancy and infant loss peer support group for families in St. Albert and North Edmonton.

8. Grief & Loss Counselling – Jewish Family Services Edmonton

Professional counselling support for all types of grief, including pregnancy and infant loss.

9. Empty Arms Bereavement (Online Support Group)

Virtual peer support for anyone experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or early infant loss.

  • Facebook Group: “Empty Arms – Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support”

10. BriarPatch Family Life Education Centre (Sherwood Park/Edmonton Area)

A family-centered non-profit offering grief support, counselling, and education including programs for pregnancy and infant loss grief.

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