No Shame in Your Shame-Game

Mom shaming, fat shaming, parent shaming and all of the other kinds of “shaming” are a real thing.  Social media makes it so much easier to voice your opinion, whether is been asked for or not, and although most of the time it’s positive or constructive, there are still a really special group of people out there that use it to shame.  They shame you on what you wear, on what you eat, on how you raise your kids, on what you feed your kids, on how you feed your kids.

I recently had my turn at being shamed, although it was done in a non-direct kind of way, which is almost worse, isn’t it?

Unless you haven’t been near Instagram or Facebook in the past week, you’d know that Starbucks came out with a very limited time Frappuccino called the Unicorn Frappuccino.  It’s bright, happy,and was marketed so wonderfully by Starbucks that we were counting down the days to try one.  So after a very important assessment for one of my kids, I decided to treat them each to one of these magical drinks.

Please keep in mind I used the word treat.  I took a picture of it and posted it, with a cute little message, to my Instagram and Facebook page (because if you don’t post your Starbucks drinks to social media…did it actually happen?!! ) – and went on with my day.

Most of the comments I received were positive, lots of people wanting to know what they tasted like (sweet mango crossed with Nerds candy, in case you were wondering). However, a few people felt the need to let me know how many grams of sugar was in the drinks, a few people questioned why I would let my kids have a “toxic drink”, someone let me know the amount of chocolate bars were the equivalent to one drink.

While I sincerely appreciate people’s genuine concern about my children’s well being – Here’s what I think:

  1.  Remember when I used the word TREAT? Well that’s exactly what it was.  In no way is this drink going to become a part of my family’s diet or daily life.  I saw something cool, my kids thought it was cool so we tried it. Did we love it, no, but that’s besides the point.  We eat quite healthy, we are a very active, very busy family and so I feel absolutely no “shame” in treating my kids.  If this drink is something that goes against your lifestyle or belief system, then I am behind you 100% in your choice not to try it, but please don’t make me feel badly because I don’t share your same feelings towards it.
  2.  Does it make you feel better or some how satisfied for shaming me?  Did you hit ‘send’ on your comment and think “there…that needed to be said”?  I never really understand the feeling people get for publicly being mean to someone.  I have since deleted these comments because there was no need to keep these on my social media page.

I love social media. I love how easy it is to connect with people that I otherwise would probably have never met.  Some of my very favorite people are ones I have met and connected with through this amazing community.  However, because I choose to put myself out there, I know that the odd time I’m going to come across some not so nice people.  Instagram has this amazing feature though, where you can choose to follow someone’s account because you like their content or you can choose not to.

Growing up, I was taught, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all and maybe we all need to go back to that sometimes. 

Image: The Globe and Mail




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1 thought on “No Shame in Your Shame-Game

  1. Thank you! I was so irritated by so many mom’s who POSTEd so much negativity. It’s a beautiful drink, that is limited time only. I thought it would be fun to grab one, the day it came out. When I started seeing all these posts, about the sugar content, etc. One post even said, what does your poop look like today, with all that dye?! Seriously!? I chose to treat my kids, and how dare you for trying to make me feel bad about it. If you don’t want your kids to try it, great!

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